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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Blogging Confidence


When I first started Parisian To Be, I never expected that it would either grow or become the great commitment that it is. In the back of my mind, I yearned for a more diverse and more quantified following, but never really thought about how it would feel to have people actually read my ramblings. Well, it's happened, and I am ever grateful. But I'm a perfectionist at heart, with a shed load of self-motivation, and a lacking self-confidence. My blog was a place where I could ramble, take a break from Chemistry nightmares, and ballet drama (and it does happen on a Dance Moms scale, sometimes). I love my online niche. I pour in my heart and soul. But like, many things you care about, it's hard to see them struggle or fail. This isn't to say that this blog is failing in any way; just look at the comments you type in everyday. But this is a message to bloggers alike about struggling with the reality of blogging.

There is an unspoken internal battle between blogs and followers. Like a popularity contest, everyone wants to be the most popular girl. In relation to myself, my statistics disclose that my blog isn't growing at the rate it once was. I was frustrated. But a brief chat with my business major dad pumped my brain with advice. "It's natural," he says. "Every business has highs and lows; spikes and declines." The stock market is the perfect example. Although I glance at my follower count on a daily basis, I've attempted to unattach my obsessiveness and intense emotions behind it. It's just a number. And those people quantified love my blog, and I'm really lucky because of that. 

In an effort to revive myself from my blogging rut, I churned out the best content that I could and put massive amounts of effort into it, too. Soon enough, the follower number started going up again. That being said, there are two conclusions that can be drawn. Put effort into blogging. Some people do it just for followers, others just for PR samples, and there are a fair few who do it for themselves, out of passion. That passion is what produces a stunning product. Don't get caught up in the other stuff. The rest will follow if you rely on your heart; I'm hoping it will for me, at least. 

But, I bet there are many people in the world who are just like me: obsessive, people-pleasing, perfectionists. I often take blog photos three times within the span of a week to ensure that it's pleasingly perfect. As you rapt up the stamina to blog to your full potential, don't drive yourself insane; it's easy to do. Understand that your standards are different than other peoples--they're often much higher. And you can't please everyone. Beauty is subjective. Be proud of your work that may not be obsessive, because it's still beautiful. 

Mending creative content is difficult, and I'm running out of ideas. But, sometimes, it's okay to go through these periods of time. Whenever a rough time strikes, tell yourself that "it can only go up from here." After one door closes another opens, and after every recession, comes a spike. I'm really adamant about what I want this blog to be: a diary for the everyday girl (maybe with a little bit of a bad obsession with beauty...). A girl who won't review all the new beauty releases, or even fifteen. A girl who is a minimalist. A girl who loves the power of beauty to make her feel more confident and enhance her natural complexion. A girl who wants to play a friend-like figure, who her viewers can ramble with about beauty. And that, I hope, is Parisian To Be. I thought that buying new beauty products would give me more blogging fuel, but I don't think that's the case; I don't even want to buy anything else--but only because I have restraint, as I do have a wishlist the length of my arm. But blogging comes from the heart, not from other resources. Finding your heart and spreading love is what creates a kick ass blog.

49 comments :

  1. Loved this. Nodded along the whole way!

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  2. Lets Talk BeautyMay 11, 2014 at 4:32 AM

    Love this post! I read such a wide selection of blogs all for different reasons & for varied content. I love people that write honestly & candidly about anything & everything. Confidence comes from being more self aware & this is something Im working on.
    I love your blog its always a pleasure to read your ramblings x

    http://www.letstalkbeauty.co.uk/

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  3. Such a lovely piece of writing, I salute you! Such a big fan of your blog! x

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  4. Amazing post! Agree so much with what you have said! Blogging makes you a perfectionist!!!

    Effys Space

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  5. I love this post, thank you! I just started blogging and I have noticed myself becoming a perfectionist about it, when all I want to do is have fun with it. You have helped me remember that! Thanks :)



    http://www.laurelloves.com

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  6. great post. yes this is a kick ass blog. and i'm so glad you've made it this way! :)

    rachel x
    blush&brunch

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  7. I love each post you do! Funny, engaging and straight from the heart! Keep going! you are doing great!

    The Conscience Fund

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  8. Such great advice. I have blogging highs and lows just like yourself and this post has reassured me to keep doing and writing about my passions and the rest will fall into place.

    Melissa | MELISSA LOVES THIS

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  9. Loved this, and your blog, always. I can totally relate to being a perfectionist, it's like a disease...though it does pump out some great photos now and then haha ;) xx

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  10. You have such a fantastic blog, Lillian! Your photos draw me in and your posts are always engaging. I really enjoy coming to your blog and have purchased many products based on your recommendations.

    "...blogging comes from the heart, not from other resources." That is so true. I'm so happy to find bloggers that think that way. xx

    Celina | The Celution | Bloglovin’

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  11. I relate to this all too well. The thing I struggle with is reader engagement, so it makes it difficult to put your best work out there when nobody reads it or acknowledges it. And yes, the hard part is pushing yourself to keep going when there's no one to cheer you on except you.


    Great post, as usual. x
    Em, www.mascarawarrior.com

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  12. Great post on a great blog--thanks for working hard to create quality work!

    http://regretfullyobsessed.wordpress.com

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  13. Well said! I just started January this year but I'm super excited how my blog will perform along the way and that's the most important for me: being excited and motivated (even if there are just a few readers). Keep going! x

    www.ringforahug.com

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  14. PS: I decided the best way to boost my blogging drive was to make something new, so I created a tag called Closet Warfare and tagged you in it, if you're interested. x

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  15. Loved this post! I totally understand about being a perfectionist and wanting my blog content to be as good as it can be :) I'm so relieved I'm not the only one who takes multiple blog pictures to choose the best one! HAHA! xx

    LOVELY ROSE PETAL BLOG | Beauty, Fashion and Lifestyle Blog

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  16. I'm a perfectionist too and it can be a little overwhelming to think about the followers thing when you also want to just focus on being genuine and writing/photographing posts you love and are proud of. Thank you for this lovely and introspective post, it was relatable and so well-written.
    XO Camey

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  17. I'm not a beauty blogger, and I don't read a lot of blogs like yours. But I found your words really touching. It's always tough getting people to read your words and enjoy them, I learned a while ago that I write for such a niche that I am happy to be a quiet voice. But I've always been happy. Your enthusiasm is utterly lovely, thanks for being awesome.

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  18. It's a great post you know! I like your last sentence! Thank you for this post and for your blog. xo♥

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  19. Thanks, Jen! Apparently we're a little psychic; i saw your post on "Getting Back into Blogging" and felt the same way. x

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  20. Merci. Self awareness is key; I'm working on it too. Your kind words are greatly appreciated. (: x

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  21. Thanks, Lilly. It really means a lot. x

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  22. I think the perfection escalates when you're in complete control of how things look, come across, and translate. x

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  23. Great post! Loved every word!

    Tsui.
    Fashion Ganache.

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  24. I really love this post! I've been blogging on and off, closed down and restarted different blogs because I stopped seeing the point in doing it, only to miss it later on. I guess I was also trying to discover and identify myself through blogging. I try not to pay attention to the number of likes and followers as it does bring my confidence down. But it's really hard to stay focused on the reason why you blog instead of the numbers. Sometimes we really need to take a breath and remember not to fall into the trap of the 'Like Culture'.

    Thanks for writing this :)

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  25. Perfectionism? That, I can completely relate to. Especially when you're in control of the content, the design, the photography, the admin, etc. But although being a perfectionist can drive us mad at times, it does tend to produce some pretty great results! A composition in a photo that we love, or getting across our point in the way we hoped and wanted to. Keep up the great blog! We love it. x

    Danielle · danielletc.com

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  26. Wow. This post is great! I really enjoyed it. I can fully relate to that. If something isn't the way I want it to be I have to change it constantly and sometimes it doesn't get better. And blogging is also my way of reliving stress it always calms me down. xx

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  27. I'm glad I could help; that was my intention, after all. x

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  28. Haha! Thanks, Rachel; your's is, too. x

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  29. Thank you, Divya. You really have no idea how much motivation you just gave me. x

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  30. I promise it will. More people than you think like you for who you are. x

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  31. Ah, thanks, Brittany! I'm a huge fan of yours, too. x

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  32. Celina, I love reading your comments...so much. It's such a treat everyday. It's people like you who I blog for. x

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  33. Even if you don't have as great an audience as you wish, you're still learning more than you can imagine. If it makes you feel any better, I look back at my posts from around a year ago and think, "Wow, I'm glad no one read these." Ha! But it will come--and most likely sooner rather than later. And thanks for the tag; I'll definitely check it out. x

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  34. Thank you! x

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  35. Thanks! And the same goes for you. x

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  36. Thanks, Albertine! Your photos are truly gorgeous, as are you; I watch your YouTube videos, after all. (: x

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  37. Thanks so much, Camey. This may sound strange, but remember than I'm always a tweet away if you need help. x

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  38. Ah, Izzy--this is such a lovely comment! I'm truly flattered. x

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  39. Thanks, Julie. x

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  40. I'm always happy to help. If you keep on coming back to blogging, you're obviously really passionate about it, and that will show. It's hard to get your name out into the world, but, in honesty, passion like your is what I look for in a blog; the rest will follow. Keep on doing what you're doing, Kristien. x

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  41. Ah, thanks, Danielle. I think being the head of this blog just drives my perfectionism. But we all need to take a step back and happily acknowledge our own work at times. x

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  42. I feel the same way to. I'm glad you liked it. x

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  43. Love this post! Got me out of the slump I've been in the past few days.

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  44. We are very similar because I am the *same* with loving blogging but also occasionally checking the numbers and obsessing over making sure every little thing is perfect. Sometimes it is a little liberating just to let your passion get the better of you and not retake a photo three times haha. But I definitely can understand pretty much everything you've said in this post, especially since I've just hit my first year of blogging and I'm trying to get out of a little slump.
    Amber
    Lovely Notions

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  45. We all go through slumps; it's natural and it will pass soon. x

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  46. What a great post. For what it's worth, you've just gained a new follower in me.

    I just (like less than a week ago, JUST) started my first blog. I'm really enjoying the writing process. I used to write all the time and then stopped. For a while I was worrying that I shouldn't put any content up until I had everything perfect, but them I realised that the important thing was to START, and I could perfect my layout, etc as I progress. One of my best friends told me that part of being an artist is striving towards perfection, constantly creating, and the things you create on your way there will be beautiful in their own way.

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  47. This is a lovely blog post :) I was thinking of writing about blogging on my blog as I've always found it hard to stick with it without getting 'lost'... this post was helpful thank you! :) x

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  48. Your last line is so true and the advice is spot-on. I shifted the focus on my blog two months ago to be more than just expat topics about living in France. My passion lies in living a healthy lifestyle abroad and everything that comes with that, but I was scared to make the jump and start including posts on things like fitness and recipes. But being true to myself was what really mattered and now I have a refreshed energy and renewed confidence going into 2015. Super timely advice, so thanks!

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